He’s stubborn and independent. He’s strong-willed and wild. He’s caring and loving. He’s imaginative and “all boy.” These are all great characteristics, but some people are trying to take away his spirit.
If you know my family, you probably know the issues we have had with schools. Lincoln is almost 4 years old (in May) and he has been in three different schools; two in the last eight months.
He started off at what could be considered a daycare facility when he was about six months old. I loved it there. He loved it there. Everything was blissfully wonderful. Until he reached 2 1/2. The school administration started to fall apart and teachers were leaving left and right. The teachers in his classroom were terrible. One of them was too old and had no patience with children of this age, and the other was brand new and didn’t have a clue. We tried to stick it out, but after having Lincoln come home with poop in his underwear twice and being blamed for what other kids were doing, my husband and I had it.
I did some research to find a better place for him, and I thought I had found it. I was told it was a school that offered Montessori-based learning and small class sizes. Those things weren’t really true. The teachers tried, they really did, but when they didn’t implement any of the ideas I gave them in my two-page handout I created, there was nothing more that could be done.
It was at this time that I started to think something was really wrong with Lincoln. One of the administrators suggested that we have him tested and take him to a psychologist. I don’t think any parent would want to hear something like that about their child; especially a child that is not even three years old yet. I was stressed out and upset and cried about it and blamed myself. Instead of having Lincoln tested or taking him to a psychologist, we took him to his pediatrician who has always been very straight-forward with us. She pretty much said, in her own words, that the people at his school were stupid and that Lincoln was acting like a normal boy his age. That brought me relief. I reported what the doctor said to his teachers and administrator and they didn’t believe it. They still suggested we have him tested and taken to the psychologist. My husband and I refused again because we thought it might be something that was happening at school because the behaviors the teachers were describing weren’t happening anywhere else.
After being at that particular school for only a few months, we moved him again. I didn’t want to do it because I thought it would really mess him up, but the administrator really didn’t give us any other choice. As of right now, he is in a true Montessori school, but is having the same issues. Once again, I find myself doubting my parenting skills because I am being told he needs to see a psychologist and that the teacher can’t handle him because he is so disruptive and can’t sit still. I mean, there has to be something wrong if it’s happening at two different schools, right?
The worst part about all this is that Lincoln knows what is happening. I’m not saying that he is purposely acting out, but he understands that these teachers are trying to change him. It’s heartbreaking to hear him say, “I was bad at that school and I had to leave.” when we pass his old school. Or, “They’re going to kick me out of this school, too.” I remind him all the time how awesome he is and how he doesn’t need to change for anyone and that he can do and be whatever he wants when he grows up (even a Power Ranger). I shouldn’t have to be doing this with a three-year-old.
So no, my husband and I still don’t believe that there is anything “wrong” with Lincoln and I’ve gotten to the point of just being pissed off when I pick him up from school and have to sign an incident report because “he was running on the concrete outside” or “he was pretending to be a ninja and accidentally hit one of his friends.” (I mean, really?)
My son is one of the coolest people I know, and although we’re not perfect, my husband and I are doing the best we can at raising him. We both know that he is going to succeed and bypass all of those children who were silent little sheep in school and I just can’t wait to see it happen.